13.1.04

I sold my guitar to Elf today... It was quite sad in a way considering it was my first guitar but then again, he would probably be making more use of it than I would. And on the other hand, I gained two bagfuls of CDs (which are borrowed, of course. Thanks Elf! ) and got to have lunch with him, so that was pretty nice.

After that, I went over to Nicole's house because I had forgotten to take the house keys with me when I left so was effectively stranded when my sister went out. It was fun just hanging out with Nic. First, we watched a few episodes from session 6 of Sex in the City... went through the stuff she bought in Aussie... browsed through her photos of her prom and her trip to Melbourne and Syndey... talked to her parents... got the internship job at her father's architectural company... which I am througly grateful for cuz I'm sure it'll provide lots of hindsight into what I'm going to get myself into and it'll be a good opportunity to talk to others in the profession. Apparently, there's a Scottish in the firm who previously studied at the Glasgow School of Art so he's first on my list of '' People I should talk to '', haha.
Too bad I'm not being paid for it. And Nic's dad just informed me that an architect's pay isn't very high. And then, I considered maybe switching courses to do Creative Arts or Graphics but then, I remembered that I wasn't comfortable with the fact that there are so many people out there who get into courses such as law and medicine simply because the jobs that they lead onto are well paying ones but what's the point if you don't have the passion for the course? It simply triggered the reminders that I received over and over again at Melbourne Girls: to pursue a course that you're interested in. And I guess that, that is one of the benefits of an overseas education... the learning of that's one than more dimension to something... there's more than just money to a career... yeah, money is important but really, what is the point when you're unhappy? There's so many more facades to life and to obsess on just a aspect would be in my point of view, narrow-minded. But in a society like Singapore, I guess that it's so easy to lose track and follow the crowd... even when I was watching PCK, it was shocking to see them do promotion for the Health Board on BMI. I mean, what has the Health Board got to do with a leisurely television program? It just proved the extent of the government's power on the media. It was appalling to me cuz it would be like having the Australian Government promote their views and values on Neighbours and now, that's just unthinkable.

And on the way home, the sentance from the Divine Wind... the edifices of her life were crumbing... suddenly popped into mind and it felt poignant somehow. In a way, with all the people I've spent times with, grown up with... now, seeing them plan their futures to the various unis, to the various countries and with the guys slowly disappearing into Tukong and slowly passively watching my relationship with one of my people I loved the most simply erode down into the memory of the past... I guess the edifices of my life are too, crumbing. I should let go of the past, embrace the present... but sometimes, I just feel fearful on the what might become, into the unknown. Maybe I should go back to Melbourne as it's going to be so tough to start all over again, if I get into the UK... oh oh!! My return slip from UCAS came through the mail today!! That means that UCAS has received my application form and it's much earlier than I expected...yay! The lady at the post office told me that it could take almost 11 days for my application to reach there but it's only been a week since I posted it and already I have news that UCAS has received it!! Yay yay! Now, I've only got to wait for the Unis to reply me... (please please please please don't reject me!)
But I remember viewing some quote saying that if one isn't couragous enough to venture into new grounds, one is never going to learn more. So now, I'm just going to pray... maybe I should stop praying for Him to watch over him but I can't help it that I care, can I? Should I?... pray for direction and for strength.